I always used to think “change is good” – and was eager to think I could handle anything and so should others. Maybe its my age, maybe its the changes I have gone though, maybe its my different understanding of what change can entail. In any case, I am much more measured when I use that phrase and I honestly don’t say it anymore. I might say “change can be good” to encourage someone, but that is as far as I go!
I have looked for and made some big ones, again. Hanging over my head was that I was still on leave, so I needed to work and figure out expenses. I had a roommate in my house for a while. He started out fine and then became very selfish and socially distant, rude and argumentative when I would ask for normal roommate things like taking out the trash or paying his share of rent on time. So that didn’t turn out well. I tried a few new jobs that came my way, and I didn’t really connect. My hopes to move out of the area, and trying the “just wing it” plan didn’t seem like it was going to happen – getting a place, getting a job all didn’t fall into place – so I didn’t go through with it. I did get a couple job offers in Hawaii and Colorado, but the logistics of moving were overwhelming. So I opted to stay put. Not so bad as I have a couple friends and my son here. Plus moving with a dog is almost harder than moving with a kid. So….given the options I was comfortable with, I decide to sell my house and move nearby and rent. Change was eminent and so I gave that to myself. It was big and crazy and somewhat risky, but not too much so that I backed out.
It took about 5 months to adjust and feel like I knew what the hell was going on. Every routine was different – washing clothes with a credit card instead of walking to the kitchen, driving to places was more or less difficult due to my new location, caring for my dog who has to pee and poo regularly is so different in a second floor apartment. Thankfully he and are both happy and feeling cozy in our new surroundings, pretty much. Plus, I was busy readjusting work commitments after I moved, so that set me back a little, in terms of getting familiar with the new area. Yes yes yes, job fell into place also. I decided that a sure thing wasn’t being a sell-out after all, so I am back to the same organization but a different role. Similar in risk level to moving to a nearby area, right? – manageable change with some risk but not too much. Actually the job change has been much more challenging than I realized it would be, so I need to give myself 5 months! I am quite the perfectionist so my expectations to be awesome haven’t panned out yet.
My takeaway: Be patient with myself. Slack off a little. Enjoy my ability to make choices.