After a bumpy start on my route to changing my life’s trajectory, I think I’m back on track. Now if I could feel more confident it’d be great. I’m still not 100% sure of what I’m doing, but perhaps that is a lot to expect.
After being exhausted and trying to make a new role work for the whole year with little progress and minimal hope for more, the job change was more than I could bear. A difficult routine and a whirlwind work environment made things really hard. Add on a co-worker difficulties and longer hours… let’s say the opening in my former position was a nice surprise. I wasn’t happy about not trying anymore, but I applied and decided to wait and see what happened.
It’s not that I had no successes. I definitely made change for those who needed me. I rarely do things half-way and this was no exception: things got done and were done well. And I truly enjoy the connections I now have and the accomplishments that I helped bring about. Still, after reflection and soul searching about how to best use my energy, I am now back where I started– but not quite.
I have new appreciation for what I have/had. It’s a new appreciation for routines that work and colleagues that collaborate and a schedule that allows a decent lunch break. Yes yes. Of course these are normal requests. But I didn’t appreciate them when I had them. And, last but not least, I appreciate my own experience and familiarity with what I am good at. That’s the lesson.
Old is the new New.
And that’s ok.